I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
