Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
