she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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