I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
