Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Floor bacon is actually really good
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
