apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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