i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Congratulations! We have a period
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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