I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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