so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
