Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
