I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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