What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
