It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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