can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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