im holly from the hills drunk
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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