woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
