this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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