Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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