everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she looked like the before picture.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This toilet bowl is my home.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
