girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
