So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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