My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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