Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
