dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
