Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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