Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
