and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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