He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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