I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
