at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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