So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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