Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize