So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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