even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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