We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
