you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
