There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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