so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
