you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
