toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
how does that bad decision feel?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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