Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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