just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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