sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize