New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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