summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
