They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
