brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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