its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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