I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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