Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
