what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
