i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
