I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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