She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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