it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you so shy because you have an std?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
