Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
