I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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