I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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