Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm both gender and math confused
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
