u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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