Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
